Relax The Body
So Light Comes
Through The Inner Rivers
Light Stream Of Embodied Connection
Written October 30, 2011 / Published Ten Years Later!? on July 26, 2021
We begin our story with wondering about the nature of life. More specifically, wondering about the nature of the expression of sadness in my life. Why am I here? What is the point? How do I get happy?
First of all, life is a gift and All That Is. When it is unacknowledged, this is sadness. Sadness is like wearing an umbrella over our self, thinking and seeing dark rain and clouds when, in fact, the day is 72⁰ and sunny. It’s a programmed response of disconnection; disconnection to life and our true nature.
So…how do we reconnect to All That Is? We stop and become still. We notice range or opposites of our feelings or emotions. For example, if you are judging and noticing that your thoughts are critical, the opposite expression could be compassion. Breathing in the essence of critical and breathing out the essence of compassion and next breathing in the essence of compassion and breathing out the essence of critical brings you to a feeling of peace. By breathing in the essence of peace and breathing out the essence of peace; you become peaceful. You think of these words and the essence as you breathe in and out.
When you meet and greet your feelings with the support and assistance of the breath, an alchemical reaction is created. A new feeling and energy presents itself. This is the nature of life – beginnings and endings, the in breath and the out breath, light and dark, day and night, life and death – The Tao, the source of all life from where we came and from where we return.
The old adage of what you resist persists is true. And conversely, what you accept and acknowledge is transmuted because of the non-resistance to it. There is much power in acknowledgement.
The feelings we experience are communication devices. They are gifts. If we don’t notice them, they seem to disappear! If we notice them, they appear! If we really notice them fully, they also disappear! Life is always changing, growing, moving and evolving. It never stays the same. It’s all got to move and it’s all got to change. It is the nature of life – Tao.
Now let us begin a discussion of love. Love begets love. We desire our life to be joyful yet we sabotage our life with strife. How come? Why do we choose this relationship? It’s because we have been unaware of our powerful breath. It’s always moving in and out, silently loving us.
When we are experiencing sadness, we hold our breath and sometimes breathe very shallow. This is a pattern that creates the continuation of the sadness experience. Sadness is an aspect of life. It wants to continue on and be expressed and be center stage. If we ignore sadness or do not acknowledge its presence, then sadness gets to continue its expression silently beneath our conscious awareness.
Sadness is a very heavy essence and can overcome you. When this occurs you are forced to surrender and allow it to express. Yet! if we acknowledge this uncomfortable state of existence the moment it is known, if we embrace it and give it the attention it desires to express, an unusual thing occurs. It dissolves!
This however is the opposite result of sadness’ desire to get our attention! It contradicts its desire to express and live! It’s the opposite. If we give sadness attention, it goes away. If we ignore it and hope it goes away, it slithers in and out under the radar and sadness persists!
Sadness hopes you do not become aware of it completely, so that it can continue to express and live! The unawareness of sadness keeps the expression or life of sadness long and continuous. However, eventually, we catch on to the gift of sadness. Because we acknowledge it, it doesn’t get to hang out very long. It only gets to express itself for a short while.
Sadness is a communication device from Source! It’s a familiar reminder that we are disconnected from source and to become aware again so that we can experience what is really real. What is really real is peace. Peace is where all is well. All is fine and feels sunny and 72⁰.
We have been given life as a gift. Life is a gift to open up and experience and create this gift of life however we choose. Sadness is a part of life. So sadness is a gift too.
As we bring everything together in our life as one expression – everything is expressed and created. One aspect, like sadness, does not get to buy and take over the entire life expression. There are many things to choose from and sadness is only one of the choices available.
Every aspect of life gets to express itself. It is when one aspect takes over and starts to control and hog the expression is when the gift of life becomes perceived as a problem. It is then that the Source of our Being assists us and intervenes and says “enough”! That’s when we change. That’s when the Tao is expressed. Creation and destruction are expressions of the Tao. Nothing is constant. Nothing!
I don’t want my entire life expression to be sadness! I must take control of my life and change my expression consciously. I must love myself and my life so much that I choose again and ALLOW another expression its turn to become alive and be expressed.
For example, you can now choose peace. Going from one extreme to the other; from sadness to compassion as you breathe in sadness and exhale compassion and then you inhale the essence of compassion and exhale sadness…the alchemical creation of peace becomes expressed, consciously. Continue to breathe in and out and the breath, the life force, the essence and truth of you, the Tao, assists you effortlessly to become the expression of peace. It’s our natural state of Being, peace.
As I witness this alchemical process consciously, I begin to see and experience my true nature – one of powerful grace and control. I am in charge of my life and I am now experiencing peace. Peace is a gift just as is sadness. One feels more natural than the other. When you are not aware of creating them consciously, they both slither in and become expressed. When you are aware of creating them consciously, they appear at your command.
Notice the different expressions and revel in the delight that you truly do have the designated role and honor of directly affecting your life. You, the aspect of you that is conscious, assists your life to wondrous degrees of expression. ALLOW it to do what it needs to do and ALLOW this to be so.
Your breath is a powerful tool. It is the connecting ability of changing states. It is a conduit, a pathway to change. Changing your thoughts to know that sadness is only one expression and it does not get to take over and rule your entire life, subtly in the background nor in the forefront filling every moment with darkness and foreboding behavior. We choose to share the range of all emotions and we have the grand right to put sadness into “timeout” by giving it the attention it is crying out for – we acknowledge how sadness is feeling and we have complete full conscious compassion for it and then poof! In a graceful moment, it dissolves and retreats back in to the recesses of our Being to allow yet another expression to come forth and present itself.
Ah blessed peace. We welcome you into our life and choose to have you be a support in our life silently and, fully present to assist us to enjoy and become the powerful creator we are meant to express.
We have gratitude to the expression of peace. It is such a kind, light feeling essence. It just is. It is not foreboding or forceful like sadness came to be known. I choose peace. I choose peace. I choose peace. I breathe in peace. I am peace. For now…I am peace.
I have been an imposter my entire life. I have pretended to be happy when I wasn’t. I’ve exerted energy when I haven’t had it and felt less about myself when I couldn’t sustain it.
My conditioned response has been one of complication. I have been unclear how to respond to life. The outside world has shown me how others act but I am not the others. Yet I am curious as to my existence and why I feel I do not belong or rather more specifically why am I dissatisfied.
I can tell you why. I am forging a new way. I am embracing myself, my true self. But how could I not know who I am? Why is it so heart breaking to choose to stop, look, and listen to what is?
Once we pass through the experience of painful truth, we can deepen into awakened awareness of a soulful journey. The comfort of closing out all distractions creates a womb of deep understanding and love. This means we create space to birth Self.
The words love myself, self-love, be true to who you are are mental constructs and only serve to appease the ego’s design to join into this reality. My heart breaks open in ways I cannot explain or put into dialogue.
I am grateful for this pain. I forge through my experience. “Sometimes there is no map for the road we find ourselves upon.” (Call The Midwife quote). This unchartered territory is rich in newness and uncertainty, and is quite uncomfortable.
I wanted to be seen as perfect and competent towards the unrealistic expectations I set. If I am good enough I am setting the right example.
Allowing myself to be seen creates vulnerability to perceived weakness, ineptitude and possibilities towards rejection and being or feeling alone. I have had enough of doing these atrocities to myself, i.e., seeing myself as less than and not good enough.
As I share my inner most experience of this human condition or life I hope and pray you too can relate and/or identify with my pain.
All-in-all I am divine and perhaps by my stepping out and sharing my fears, my pain, my ineptitude and judgement about myself it will serve another so they can connect, join in, and share the transformation of human experience into awakened possibility of seeing how beautiful we each are.
I am the sensitive scribe surrendering into courageous trust that I do belong and I am not alone.
The Script Is Written
No Need To Fret
Sitting Down and Deciphering